We all face challenges in our lives, and sometimes that can have us singing the blues. It's not a comfortable emotional landscape to reside in, as those times of struggle can bring repressed parts of our nature to the surface. There's no denying that the emotional states we humans brand as "negative" are powerful forces, and it's only natural to want to sweep them to the side and step back into the light as quickly as possible. Yet, those dark and painful places are a part of us, and offer as much of an opportunity for personal growth as the sunnier side of life does. In a nutshell, shadow aspects are those parts of our personality which we deny, repress, or reject. Given that behavioural responses such as jealousy, pettiness, and neediness can be met with displeasure, it isn't unusual that we should choose to avoid or brush away those responses as soon as they come up. Feeling angry or unworthy isn't a good feeling, so it's not a place we willingly choose to linger in; yet to truly meet with our shadow aspects, that is exactly what we need to do - we need to sit with our more challenging emotions to truly get a sensation as to what they're all about. Shadow aspects can manifest in ways that are less easy to detect than simply experiencing anger, envy, or contempt. They can come pouring out of us in ways that affect others even more greatly than they do ourselves - take, for example, the need to control people's behaviours, assigning blame for our emotional state rather than taking responsibility for it, projecting thoughts or words that are really our own onto others, or simply finding another person's personality traits grating . While it may be easy to externalize examples such as these by attributing them solely to residing outside of ourselves, if we apply personal awareness in the heat of those moments we may come to realize that perhaps this really *is* our circus, and yep - those really *are* our monkeys. Our shadow aspects are not without benefits. The energy that is generated by emotional responses such as outrage, anger, and jealousy can be extraordinarily useful when directed in a constructive manner. Having the awareness to recognize, harness, and then express that energy is no easy task, but I have found I craft some of my most powerful work when I have the sense to channel those uncomfortable emotional states towards my creative endeavours. Other times, I will draw a single tarot card to inquire as to which energies I need to be aware of, what I need to learn from my current state, or simply ask the cards to comment on whatever it is I am feeling. I find both of these techniques are helpful in that they allow me to sit with my shadow aspects and observe them without judgement. When my energy is running a little too high for contemplation, meditation, or creative expression, a good bout of physical work or exercise helps to bring me back into the present. I've come to think of it as emotional shadow boxing, whereby bringing awareness back into the physical body aids in grounding the static being produced in the etheric body. Our darker sides can craft some powerful magic - just think of the relation between the two: we cast spells the same as we cast shadows. We have black magic the same as we have white magic. Grimoires are often known as "The Book of Shadows." There is a balance between our dark and our light, and each needs to be recognized and embraced if we wish to be truly whole. It isn't easy work, and it's a never ending process, but there is a peace to getting to the point where we feel able to welcome those parts of ourselves which we tend to push away.
4 Comments
Ed
11/22/2015 04:18:01 am
Interesting read with a new way of looking at aspects of my history which on the one hand I'd prefer to forget but OTOH I need to review from time to time to help with my current life. "Once upon a time," in a life I'd like to forget I found myself in the grips of alcohol to the point where it ruled much of my life and brought out some very negative aspects and actions. Don't get me wrong, I had a lot of good times and fun with the drink but it took me places I'd rather not go again. When I think now back on all those good times, I also must think all the way through to the horrible, no good, very bad times I lived in. Refreshing my memory like this helps me stay on the right path in my current life.
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Speak of Secrets
11/24/2015 04:28:12 pm
I feel the same way about the moments in my life that I am not proud of, but reflecting on those cringe-worthy moments are what help me to be a better person today... I try to remind myself that learning compassion and gaining awareness is not something we are born with, but develop over time, and that included extending compassion and forgiveness towards ourselves. If I were able, would I go back and change them? Yes, definitely, but since I'm not, they do serve as points to learn and grow from.
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Lacy
12/10/2015 09:31:33 am
It's usually easier for most people to accept the shadow side of their nature than the true light of it. If that were not the case, a lot of therapists and self help book sellers would be out of work. Drug abuse wouldn't exist, etc... Learning to work with both sides of your nature in a balanced way, makes you pretty much the alpha Witch anywhere. Easy to say, very hard to master. Even when your proficient enough to feel comfortable, expect to slip up now and then. That is just how the mystical cookie crumbles. It's why keeping a sense if humor helps. Those of us type A personalities get a little bit too intense and learning that our shadow us there to put the whoopie cushion under our butts while our light kisses our hurt pride and boo boos, keeps us sane. Or, I am full of crap and you can just ignore me like my adult children do. Either way, there is new grist to chew one. Tootles! XOX
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Speak of Secrets
12/10/2015 09:34:42 am
That's a very valid point - humanity does tend to slip into the negative quite easily. You can see it in online reviews, people will take the time to complain, but hardly ever take the time to compliment. Years ago I started my one-person battle against that, and go out of my way to acknowledge that I received good service. "I appreciate your help today" has become a well-used phrase in my life. Having and expressing gratitude is at the center of my practice. I agree that embracing our shadow aspects is difficult and involves a lifetime of work - shadows can shift, and it is our personal responsibility to bring awareness to those aspects of ourselves.
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